Vinta Nanda says "White Noise", her debut directorial venture, is a reflection of her life in some parts.

"Some parts of the film do reflect on my own life," says Vinta, who went through a painful affair and breakup with a married man.

"I had to make this film to rid myself of the demons that threatened to destroy me after the crisis in my life. 'White Noise' was born out of desperation," Vinta told IANS.

The film's protagonist Gauri Khanna is "my alter-ego", says Vinta, "but only partly." The film has opened to a welcoming niche-audience in theatres.

"The girl's anguish and despair is all my own. Fortunately or unfortunately screen life can't be as messy as real life. But 'White Noise' was a necessity.

"When I was writing my script I was going through huge ups and downs. But by the time I came to actually filming I was healed. So by then Gauri Khanna had become a separate entity from Vinta Nanda.

"I could stand as an outsider and watch my own life in her. But watching Gauri healing herself helped me to deal with a lot of my own angst.

"'White Noise' has helped me to grow as a person. I had to cleanse myself of all the anguish. Now I'm a totally new person."

Vinta says she was very rational about separating reel with the real.

"A film is a film is film. I couldn't go too much into my own experiences. A screenplay has to be written in a formal manner. It's a journey that you've to undertake as a film, and forget about your own life."

But "White Noise" is in English. And Vinta thinks that's a limitation.

"In fact the success of Sanjay Bhansali's 'Black' gave us a lot of confidence. Once it picked up and began going houseful we felt very encouraged. So it's obviously the right time for a film in English. Also our film came close to the International Women's Day which is on March 8."

Vinta ponders a while. "In the present mood women in our cinema are being looked at more practically. The truth about us women is very different from the way we see them in our movies. For years men have projected women the way they want. Now I want to project men the way I see them.

"'White Noise' can avail of the new terminology known as the 'multiplex film'. Thank god such films have an outlet. Someone like me who comes from a small town could've never hoped to make films in Mumbai if I had to play the game by the old studio-produced rules of distribution and exhibition.

"Thank god for Shyam Shroff and Shringar Films. He believes in filmmakers like me. My small-town sensitivities are reflected in my heroine's characters, be it my serial 'Tara' or 'White Noise'. On the other end of the spectrum is my co-writer and producer Moses who has come in from Boston. He can see the confusions of my protagonist from the outside."

Vinta Nanda is very happy with Rahul Bose.

"Rahul is my dream man in 'White Noise'. I'm still waiting for someone like him to come into my life. I'm glad I had people who believed in 'White Noise'. Rahul was very sensitive to my position as a first-time director. When Tabu opted out suddenly he brought Koel in and stood by the project at a time when my assistants walked out.

"Rahul plays the perfect man. You know I can't write flawless women characters. I only see perfection in my male protagonists. I had to be honest about Gauri's imperfections. Like me she's trying hard to survive. Women in my film will always be portrayed honestly."

Koel Puri's searing honesty in her portrayal is being talked about.

"And I'm so glad she played the role. It's a stroke of luck she replaced Tabu at the last minute. Tabu dumped my project a week before shooting. She was suddenly not comfortable with the price we had agreed on.

"I was devastated. I thought my dream project was going to fall apart. But it all worked out for the best. With Tabu I may have gone for the tried and tested. With Koel the challenge of creating a stormy character was immense. Basically Koel is like a storm while Rahul is a deep still ocean."

So will Vinta work with big stars?

"In fact Karisma Kapoor was my first choice for 'White Noise'. Suddenly she decided to get married. That's why Tabu came. Later Karisma told me she'd have happily returned to the project after her wedding and honeymoon if she knew it was going to be delayed. Anyway Koel Puri is our princess. And I'd love to work with her again.

"So far the response to 'White Noise' has been very positive, far more than my expectations. We were very careful with the release, not too many prints."