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Rituals
connected with Marriage
There are many rituals associated with the coming of a new bride into the
family. The bride first performs the puja to the deities of her new family under
the guidance of the older women and is then made to distribute sweets (Gune)
in front of the Dehre which is a traditional wall painting done as a religious
ritual after marriage. The bride distributes the Gune with both hands. The groom
is the first to get these and gives his bride, money or jewellery in return.
Ritual songs are sung at this time by women sitting around the bride. Munh
Dikhai is a custom which reveals the face of the bride. The mother-in-law comes
first who presents the bride with jewellery and sees her face and then follows
the uncles wives, sister-in-law etc. Each one of them presents the bride with
money or pieces of jewellery.
Pair Bandai (touching the feet ) is another custom which helps introduce the
bride to husband's family. In this, the bride first offers the close relatives a
gift of money and then covering her hands with the edge of her sari, touches
their feet. She is then blessed by the elders to be well-loved of her husband
and produce sons.
Darosh Dab
Dhab, Dam-Chalshish, Dual or Har, Batta-Satta, Jhajhara, Gadar,
Mool Biah, Jhindphook and Yuth Vivah are some other interesting forms of
marriage prevalent in the area. Darosh Dab Dhab is a tribal system prevalent in
Kinnaur. In this the girl is forcibly dragged away from a fair ground or a
festival meeting. She pretends to scream, scratch, bite and show annoyance but
the boy holding her does not relent his hold. At night the village tries to
bring the girl round and if she agrees then the next day a match-maker goes to her
family with a gift of five rupees and a bottle of wine (ijit) and tries to get
their permission. Similar gifts are presented to the village deities.
In
Dam-Chalshish, the lovers elope together and the boy's father sends the
Mazomi to the girl's house and tries to placate them and their relatives with
gifts. If the family agrees, then a ritual marriage follows. In Jhindphook, the
lovers go to a lonely spot and set some shrubs on fire and then go round the
fire seven times. This makes them husband and wife. In the Chalshish system as
the girl departs from her home sad tunes are played and the son-in-law presents
the mother of the daughter with a sum of five hundred rupees as Masore or the
price of her milk.
Hari or Har means that a woman who is dissatisfied with her husband, goes and
begins to live with another.
Her new husband has to settle it with the previous one by offering him a price
acceptable to him. Such marriages are known as Jhanjhara or Jhanhrada. The new
husband also invites all his relatives and at night offers a special puja known
as Nuala to lord Shiva. When the priest or the Chela gives him the lords
blessings he in turn, puts his Balu (a piece of jewellery) on the Woman and this
makes her his lawful wife. The Gaddis follow this custom more than the others.
The Gaddis and some labourer families follows the Batta-Satta system of
marriage in which the bride's brother has to marry the groom's sister or vice
versa. If one of the girls refuses to go to her husband, the other one also will
stay back. In case of complications, the village assembly of Pachi (Panchayat)
is called. They listen to arguments from both sides and give their verdict in
writing, copies of which are preserved by both sides.
 The Gaddis perform the marriage ceremony twice. First comes the Jooth Pana
when the groom's party goes to the girl's house (who is usually a minor of 8-10
years) and breaks a lump of jaggery in the girl's name and the girls family
smears them with red colour. On their way back, the groom's party distributes
lumps of jaggery to all the passer by thus announcing the confirming of the
betrothal. Then the real marriage ceremony follows, in which the woman from the
girls family help her through the rituals. There is no system of dowry.
After five or ten years comes the second half known as Sadnoj. By now the girl
is mature. On a fixed day the groom in ritual finery, goes to his wife's house
with a few relatives and after staying there for a couple of days, departs with
his bride for his own village. At this time gifts are presented and dances and
celebrations begin in the groom's house to welcome the party.
In
Pangi, at the time of the marriage the grooms younger brother presents the
bride's mother with a silver rupee. This gives him the right of a second husband
over the bride, but the bride is not to be shared by more than two brothers. The
people in Pangi are monogamous and a widow may remarry, but such marriages are
not held in high esteem.
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