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CUSTOMS & TRADITIONS - Introduction | Marriage - Wedding Ceremony, Rituals connected with Marriage, Remarriage & Sati, Divorce | Child Birth | Death


Marriages

Marriage is an important ceremony in Himachal. The parents are also the closer elders relatives begin to look around for suitable matches as soon as the child is old enough. Sometimes a middleman is used as a match-maker known as Roovary, Dhamu or Mazomi. He finds out the details about the social and financial standing of the family and the final decision is taken on the basis of the horoscopes. Matches in the same Gotra are not considered very good. When the match is settled the ritual gift called Tika is sent. The groom and his family are invited to tea. On this occasion ritual songs are sung and sweets are distributed. In the tribal areas both the parties exchange Chhang (rice wine) and close relatives are invited to participate in the ceremony. In some areas during the various festivals, gifts of jewellery and clothes are sent to the betrothed. In Kinnaur this system is known as Chharmi Nata, elsewhere it is known as sending the Tihar.

The date for the wedding is set in consultation with the priest. In some places the permission of the deities is also sought. Customarily all the preparations for the wedding are to be kept a secret from the bride. In Kinnaur as the wedding party approaches the house, the bride and her friends begin to wail and weep.

Marriage customs differ from place to place in Himachal. The bride and the groom are carried in palanquins except in the Lahaul area. The girl touches her father's feet at the time of her departure. People in Kinnaur follow a matriarchal system where all the brothers share a wife and if there are more than six brothers then another may be brought in. All the brothers are looked upon as common fathers to the children. The eldest is known as Teg Bawal and the youngest as Gota Bawal.

A maid (barber's wife or Pachekan) accompanies the bride temporarily from her father's house to help her settle down in the midst of her new family. In Lahaul when the groom departs with the bride the girl friends of the bride block his path till the groom promises them that he will take good care of their dear friend.

The day the bride enters the new household, a special Havan is performed under the guidance of the family priest. The bride and the groom cook kheer (rice pudding) and it is served to all the assembled relatives who bless them. At the time of Feroni  (the ritual return of the bride after her first visit from her father's house-also known as Dwiragaman) the bride and groom are welcomed with great joy and fed sweets and butter.

Wedding

At the time of the wedding, the Suhagi jewellery (denoting a girls married status) is presented by the Mama and the rest is given by the parents of the bride and the groom. The groom's family displays their gifts (Barasuhi) to the bride, to all assembled, so that they may judge their financial status. Among the poorer sections, the gifts and the cash to be given to the bride by her family at the time of the wedding are fixed in advance.

In the plains, the bride's brother presents the groom with a 'dhoti' and a ring and ushers him to the place where the marriage ceremony is to take place. In the areas of Kinnaur the bride's father presents the groom with a white turban and ties a sword or a dagger to his waist band to indicate the start of the ceremonies. All this time wine cups are also presented to both the match-maker and the groom. When the marriage party returns with the bride it is greeted by the fellow villagers holding torches. Goats are sacrificed and special rituals are performed to ward off evil spirits and ghosts.

 

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