|
Customs and Tradition
In the Customs and tradition of Punjab, kinship
plays a significant role. The Punjabis have a very vast range of it. Its
pattern varies considerably from groups to group but the general mode
of behaviour and attitude is more or less the same. Each relation has
certain duties and responsibilities towards others in his group, in the
day-to-day life, birth and marriage ceremonies, funerals and other social
occasions. Different sets of terms are used for addressing the patrilineal
and matrilineal kinfolk. The father's brother, is addressed as chacha,
while the mother's brother is mama. Even the terms used for addressing
the elder or younger agnatic kin are different. The father's elder brother
is addressed as taya and the younger one as chacha.
Generally most of the kinsmen of a person reside in
the same village, or in the adjoining villages. Because of the joint family
system, the real brothers, even married ones, often live in the same household.
There are some other agnates who generally reside in the same locality,
or patti, participate in all social functions and exchange gifts.
Some of the cognates reside in the adjoining villages and very often they
participate in social or festive occasions, like the initiation and marriage
ceremonies, as also other occasions like funerals etc.
Kinship plays a very vital role in the social
and cultural life of the people because most of the kin have to perform
certain specified and obligatory functions on social occasions. Thus,
for instance, the choora (red ivory bangles) which bride wears at her
wedding has necessarily to come as a gift from her maternal uncle.
The maternal uncle has to put the bangles on her forearm while going through
certain rituals. Similarly the maternal grandparents must send their khat
(bridal gift) to the girl on the occasion of marriage. This gift generally
comprises a set of clothes, some jewellery and other household objects
for the bride. At an initiation ceremony, like the first haircutting or
wedding, each relative gives something in cash or kind according to his
social standing or nearness of relation. The exchange of gifts is a prominent
custom and keeps the kin, in a way, well-knit in the social fabric. Presence
of all relatives at social functions is considered very essential and
special efforts are made to patch up differences with all those with whom
relations have been strained for some reason or the other.
The joint family system having been in vogue for ages,
the entire responsibility for the maintenance of the household and of
social relations falls upon the father. No one in the family can question
his authority. Even in such personal matters as contracting a marriage,
the father as the head of the family, has the ultimate say. After his
death the patriarchal powers pass on to the eldest son who becomes the
head of the family and its chief representative on all social occasions.
At home the head of the family inspires awe among the
members. Younger members of the family dare not talk flippantly or joke
in his presence, nor is it considered befitting for them to smoke or drink
when he around. All conversation in his presence is conducted in Subdued
voices. Daughters-in-law observe purdah when the father-in-law is present
and it is generally understood that when he comes into the house, he would
either cough aloud, or indicate in some other way that he is around, so
that they may cover their faces and tone down their voices. As a general
rule, there is no direct conversation between the father-in-law and the
daughter-in-law, but if a situation and an occasion necessitate it, it
is brief to the extent of being monosyllabic, and the daughter-in-law
is barely audible.
Purdah is observed before the husband's elder brother
also. The same customary respect as is shown to the father-in-law is also
shown to him. But the younger brother of the husband, the devar, enjoys
a privileged position. He is free to talk, laugh and joke with the bhabi
( brother's wife). Among some clans, there is a custom that when the bride
is brought home, the husband's younger brother is the first person who
lifts here veil and peeps at her face. In certain clans the eldest bhabi
is given a status equal to that of the mother and she is treated with
great respect. In Malwa, where the devar generally marries the widow of
the elder brother, the relationship is very free. |
