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MARRIAGES ARE MADE IN HEAVEN OR IS IT THE OTHER WAY ROUND

ByNishtha 17.5.2010         1 Comments         Phone:9453992278       Mail Now X   Post Comments

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She sits demurely watching the sacred fire, resplendent in bridal finery. The pandit chants the mantra, she gets up, looks coyly at her would be husband, her veil is tied to the groom's 'cheddar', they complete the 'saptapadi' or the 'saat pheras', call what you may, around the sacred fire. The marriage is solemnized.

An unexpected thing, which is sure to happen, is what we call marriage. When it will happen, how it will happen questions are many which may delve in a person's mind but the answer is, one it is going to happen. In India marriage is a sure thing. Marriage seems to be third important aspect apart from "birth, & death". But - what one faces in the process of marriage especially what women face in India.

What is the scene? It starts with a girl being born in the family. From that time onwards it will play at the back of the mind of her family members that she has to be married one day. As she grows up once in a while she'll be asked to do this or to do that or else what will happen when she goes to her in law's house.

The problems are many but first and foremost you have to be around 25 years, Girls have to be fair complexioned and such an emphatic demand it is for being fair, Next, has to be slim, tall as well, surprisingly a person who himself may be 5'7'' or 5'9'' his demand will also be for a tall girl, why? Beats me..., she has to be educationally qualified. If you have all these qualities, you are fit to be considered in the marriage market. Reputed family background is value addition to your qualifications.

Now that you have all the suitable requirements you are now ready for display. My apologies for using harsh words but this is the fact. It may so happen that some people may like you, and then they will be coming to if a person turns out to be mangalik -t which makes you quite dangerous to another person who is not a mangalik,

Girls are regarded as ' Paraya-Dhan' meaning someone else's property, from her childhood till her becoming adult she is brought up in a suitable way so that when she goes to her own house

meaning her husband's house she they adjust their properly, or else a finger may be pointed to the culture of entire family

It is said that a girl goes in a " Doli" (bridal carriage) from her father's house and her life journey is completed in her husband's house from where she goes in an "Arthi"(carriage of the dead).

If we go through the history of India we can find that there was a custom prevalent here that was of 'Swayambar' where the bride was at her liberty to choose her own husband from among the prospective grooms vying to marry her., now it's the turn of boys to choose whom they want to marry and the girls have to prove themselves, girls are also allowed to choose yes I agree but not in the way a boy is given the liberty.

Strange is our perceptions here in India , whereas at one place we believe that marriages are made in heaven but when if someone falls in love and wants to marry the person one loves it's not exactly taken in good sense, why this disparity between arranged marriages and love marriages. Numerous are the cases of arguments, quarrels even violence resulting out of the fact that there may be two persons in love from different communities, caste barriers matters a lot and if the two persons are of different religion then more trouble may come.