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Marriage Ceremony
Next starts the ceremony proper. Among the Hindus this ceremony is generally
performed late at night and goes on till dawn. In the courtyard of the
house or out in the open, a chauk of flour is drawn by the priest, and
the girl and the boy are made to sit before it facing east. The family
priest then chants hymns and verses from the scriptures and goes through
the whole gamut of rituals, culminating in the father giving away his
daughter to the boy, and the boy and the girl taking wedding vows as they
go round the sacred fire.
At the conclusion of the ceremony both families exhibit
to each other and the relatives, the clothes and jewellery which they
have presented to the bride. The gifts brought by the boy's family are
called Vari and those given by the girl's parents are called Daaj (Dowry).
Daaj also includes clothes for the bridegroom, his parents, and his other
near relatives.
The next ceremony after the marriage is the bride's
departure, the Doli (palanquin). To the accompaniment of the songs of
separation, the Doli is sent away. At the time of parting, the parents
of the girl and her brothers and sisters present a touching sight, moved
at separation from one so dear.
In some villages even today a maid servant, generally
the Nain( barber's wife) is sent with the bride. She is there to help
the girl in case she is faced with any difficulties in her new environments.
Moreover, when the Nain returns home, she supplies the parents of the
girl first-hand information regarding the family into which the girl has
gone to spend the rest of her life. But this system is fast fading out.
When the wedding party along with the bride reaches
home, the Pani Varna ceremony is performed. Diluted milk, called Kachchi
lassi, is put in a small vessel and the bridegroom's mother and sisters
turn by turn take it over the head of the bride, three times each. Each
time they pretend to make an attempt to drink it, but the bridegroom puts
his hand across and stops them. Thereafter some oil is poured over the
threshold and the couple enters the house. The bride is escorted to a
separate room where she is seated. All relatives and women from the neighbourhood
give her gifts, mostly in the form of money. After this, another ceremony
called Mundri Chhalla (playing with a ring) is performed. The Nain
throws a small ring in a broad vessel of diluted milk. As soon as she
throws the ring, the bride and the bridegroom both try to fish it out,
even snatching it from the other's hand. Friend's and relatives stand
all round, watching and Cracking Jokes. This is done seven times.
The next day the ceremony of Got Kunala is performed.
The following day, the bride accompanied by her husband, goes to her parents
on her first short visit after her wedding. This is called Phere Pana.
After this visit when the girl has to leave for her husband's home again,
it is customary for her parents to give her clothes and other gifts. This
ceremony, known as Muklawa, is performed immediately after the marriage.
Among the less known types of marriages in the Punjab,
mention may be made of the Punn( virtuous) marriage which is considered
the best of all types. The girl's parents do not accept any money or gifts
in any form; the merit of the boy and the family are the only consideration.
Then there is the Dohathi (two-handed) marriage. It is a sort of marriage
by exchange between two families. A daughter is married off into one family
and one of that family's daughters is similarly received back in marriage.
Such marriages are very common at the lower social level. The third type
is called Taka marriage, in which the boy's father pays something in cash
to the girl's father and for all practical purposes, purchases her. This
type of marriage is not unknown among the artisan castes.
Divorce
Sikhs and Hindus of Punjab look upon marriage as a sacred
and indissoluble bond and do not, therefore, recognise divorce. According
to the Sikh scriptures, husband and wife are one one spirit of two bodies.
Both Hindus and Sikhs consider marriage as a spiritual tie which
does not break even after death. Therefore, divorce is seldom thought
of, not even when men turn their wives out of their houses on the basis
of adultery. A woman generally does not seek separation from her
husband even when he is idle, vicious, cruel and characterless. Only at
the low social levels does one come across some cases of divorce. The
Bagri Jats of Ferozepur, for instance, perform the following ceremony
for dissolution of marriage. Some of the brotherhood assemble and the
woman is made to stand in their presence, her husband tears his white
loin-cloth (dhoti) into two and places half of it on the head, saying
that he has given her up; this ceremony is called Dhola Urna.
Remarriage
Widow remarriage does not exist as a custom in Punjab.
Among some clans, an issueless widow is allowed to remarry. Widow remarriage
is mostly performed with a near relative of the deceased husband. Widow
remarriage is comparatively common among the Jats of the Punjab. This
marriage is called Kareva or Chadar Andazi. In the presence of near relatives,
the prospective husband puts a Chadar (white sheet) over the head of the
wife-to-be and puts bangles on her wrists. The corners of the sheet are
dyed yellow. Hindus sometimes call the family priest on this occasion
and he chants some sacred verses. The Sikhs go to the Gurudwara and perform
the ceremony there, before the Holy Book. Among the erstwhile lower and
backward tribes of the Punjab such as Sansi, Pakhiwals and Bazigars, widow
remarriage is not only permitted and customary but also obligatory. |
