You know some films just won't succeed in taking you on a rollicking ride even if they try hard.

"Sahara" goes wrong on the intention level. Its raison d'etre to titillate audiences with an old fashioned adventure story is bogus. Hence, everything that follows takes us downhill even as the action level gets steeper by the second.

Director Breck Eisner seems to fall into the "Mr & Mrs Smith" trap. Like the other summer biggie, "Sahara" seems to rely much too heavily on the lead pair.

Mathew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz have considerable charm-individually. Put them together, and what do we get?

A WHO doctor and a rakish adventurer who spend all the time searching for sick communities and treasure, if not treasure from sick communities in North Africa. The breakneck screenplay (Thomas Dean Donelly) scarcely pauses to catch its breath before it takes the lead pair and its favourite sidekick (Steve Zahn) on yet another madcap chase through rivers that stretch as long as Ms Cruz's legs, if not beyond.

Most of the time "Sahara" looks like a cross between a comic book and a satire without being either ...or anything at all.

The brown-and-bronzed visuals (skilfully captured by cinematographer Seamus McGarvey) seem devoid of character and personality. Most of the frames look like shots from David Lean's "Lawrence Of Arabia" and Sam Mendes' "The English Patient".

Patience is a quality you require in gallons to sit through this self indulgent romp in the deserts. Dialogues include frantic puns on "patient" since the female protagonist is a doctor. And the scant courtship sequences seem to be apologetic about bringing romance into the rugged narrative.

The lines that the characters exchange give away nothing about their character or their motivations. Why do they do the things that they do? Why are they so enamoured of exotic expeditions? Are they driven by the same demons that drove Christopher Columbus and Walter Raleigh around the world?

"Sahara" simply drives you around the bend. What a great opportunity to tell a fabulous adventure saga...Such charismatic actors playing roles that require them to be valiant and vigorous...And yet the end-result is as devoid of dynamism as an eye catching photo-frame without a picture.

"Sahara" is pretty on the edges, blank at the centre.

Do we really need a film that lavishes millions on telling a story that's as bankrupt as a broke stockbroker?

"This is Africa. No one cares what happens," says one of the film's unfettered characters. Care or not, we really can't tell. Emotions are at a low ebb in this knee jerk adventure tale where shadows aren't allowed to fall across the frames.

These characters don't live real lives. And we are never allowed to forget this.